Happy 30th birthday, FOX News. No gifts for you

I marked my birthday Oct. 8 and thought it’d be fun to Google the notables who entered our world on that date. What a bounty! I share it with filmmaker Edward Zwick, Netflix bigwig Reed Hastings, longtime Saturday Night Live cast member Darrell Hammond, Matt Damon, and Sigourney Weaver

Duly emboldened, I expanded my search to Oct. 7 and saw rocker John Mellencamp is one day older than me. It also...