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I never drank until my mom died and step-dad moved out. I raised myself and younger brother alone with no one since I was 17. Right away, I got into a crowd, and we didn’t drink socially. We drank explosively: blackouts, pass outs, drunk driving, fist fights were common. Through my years, this all developed behaviors and patterns in my life. I understand the nature and rage of this animal within and the darkness of the deepest pits. I lived on an edge; carelessly with selfish and wreckless abandon, I learned well this realm. After sobering u...