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Coulee Medical Center ER and Walk-In Care

By Jesse Utz 

Is Aprils Fool's Day all month long?

Jess Shut Up


Over the past month, a few funny things have happened. Well, to be honest, at the time it was not funny at all. Remember when our parents used to say, “Someday you will look back at this moment and laugh.” Well they were right, like they mostly always were.

My wife and I needed new shoes. We had put off the purchase as long as we could. We both have been trying to eat healthier and exercise more. So during a recent trip to a not-to-be named department store, we found the running shoes we liked at a really good price. We made the purchase and could not wait to try out our new kicks.

I put mine on during the trip home. That made my wife even more zealous to feel the comfortable fit of new shoes too, but she restrained and waited til we got home. Of course, my wife is like all ladies and she had already started putting together her outfit in her mind that would “go with” the new sneakers.

Soon after we got home, the excitement turned to rage, remorse and gloom. The first shoe we pulled out still had the safety ink tag still on it. This is the death sentence to the new outfit and wifey’s happiness. (A little exaggeration there) But I would be the hero. I had done it before with school clothes for the kids, who had also come all the way back home from a shopping trip with ink tags still attached. I called the unnamed store and asked what I could do. Of course, they wanted me to just bring it to them, but I again explained the distance. They told me how to “try” and remove it but there were no guarantees.

I would not be deterred from my wife’s joy. So after a few hours, and with the help from a local genius, I had the tag removed. I would be the hero. Yes, my wife was happy but it was only temporary. You see, not only was the ink tag still on the shoe but the other shoe was also a left foot and the wrong size.

So let me recap. We got two different sizes, two left foots and one ink tag. So after a phone call back to the store, they made it right with a special delivery package of the missing shoe. I half expected it to be a totally different shoe, but finally my wife was able to color coordinate her outfit.

Also, on a recent trip to Omak, another almost-a-disaster story occurred. I had a doctor appointment, and I was to pick up an ice cream cake from Dairy Queen for our daughter’s birthday (Oh, Happy Birthday Princess) afterwards. The appointment went more quickly than I thought, and I was soon on the road home with a frozen treat in the car. It just so happened that it was the warmest day of the year so far, and to protect my birthday surprise I cranked the AC up to keep the car frigid. All was going great, I was making good time and would be home early and surprise the wife, who figured she still had to wait at work another hour.

I pulled into the parking lot and decided to shut the car off and just run in and tell her I was there and waiting. She would be so happy and surprised that I was there and I would be a hero again. My plan was going smoothly, even though my wife had a few things still to do before leaving. I would just go back to the car and start it and run the AC to keep the cake from melting. Still, all was going well until I decided, “Oh, my lovely wife might need help carrying something out.” So I decided to leave the car running this time and run in and see. I met my wife at the door, if I had just waited a few more minutes, she would have come out with no problems. But, alas, I made a big mistake. Somehow, the car had locked when I got out. Yep, car running, locked, phone inside, keys inside, and an ice cream cake. Not good. Wife not happy but pleasantly patient. To make a long story short (too late), Mr. Horne from MPH came to our rescue and not only saved the day but a birthday as well.

So, what did we learn, kids? Check the shoes carefully before purchase and never leave an ice cream cake alone in a car. Or, sometimes you can coordinate an ice cream cake with your locksmith’s outfit while wearing a nice pair of shoes. I’m just saying.

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