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By Jesse Utz 

The de-annexation of Coulee Country

Jess Shut Up


It was recently brought to my attention that maybe we are looking at things wrong. Consolidating the community is probably a bad thing. Maybe we should be reverting back to the way things used to be. We should all be living in the past and never look for change. I am sure there are many of you that would be onboard for this (of course you are, you’re doing it now). So here is my plea to step us backwards so that we can all have our own private little area that only small groups are responsible for.

First off, we must start the de-annexation process. That means we bring back Mason City and Engineers Town. We split Coulee Dam down the middle. Each having its own services and separate councils and leaders. That would also mean that only the engineers live in Engineers Town and only the masons live in Mason City. All others must live on the outskirts of the boundaries.

We must also divide Grand Coulee up. It was originally divided into three or four little areas. The B Street area being one; the Heights and Main were the other two.

Of course, B street was the booming part of town back then, so let’s bring it back to its original condition, right down to the muddy streets; they got by with it, why shouldn’t we?

Electric City should undo their annexes too. As a matter of fact they should just draw a line on highway 155 and call one side East and the other West. If you pass a bush on the highway, you’re on the wrong side of town.

While we are at it, forget the new school. Tear it down. We don’t want all our kids going to the same location. We should just go back to two separate schools entirely. Bring back the Beavers and the Tigers. Get that rivalry really going again. I know we have a hard enough time fielding teams combined, but we will really need to be separated. Coulee Dam kids don’t wanna go to school with Grand Coulee kids. Electric City might as well start a school, too, and use one of the leftover mascots. Electric City Panthers sounds good. Plus, get all those little schools in the Delrio area going again. If they don’t live in town, they should not be educated with the rest of the kids. Better yet, since the school is already built, let’s just have a Grand Coulee wing, a Coulee Dam wing, Electric City wing and other wing, with steel bars segregating everyone’s halls. All separate student bodies, sports and lunches.

To make things really complicated, Delano, the Golf Course Community and the Spring Canyon Area should all be their own towns too. I mean, we can’t take care of everybody. So start your own governments, police forces, fire departments. Get your own utilities. Delano will have a dump. We will all have to pay extremely high rates to dump there, since everyone not living in Delano will be from out of town. Out of town tax will make them some money.

We should get rid of the hospital too. Go back to a county doctor that makes house calls. That’s all we need anyway. I mean, he can ride his horse to deliver a baby in Strahl Canyon and then head to Steamboat Rock for a snake bite. No big deal. One doctor and one nurse for every town. Sounds great.

I could go on and on, and it would get more and more ridiculous as I went. I am writing this to maybe just point out that progress is sometimes good. We may not always like it, but sometimes it is good for the big picture or for the long run — for future generations.

So if you are a council person, mayor or just an average citizen, take a minute and remove yourself from your bubble and take a peek around. The time is right now to do something not just for the people that voted you in but for our neighbors, our friends. Let’s start working together for the good of everyone.

When a disaster strikes someone in our community, we have rallied time and time again for that person, but then we charge their town even more for basic life necessities. We have an opportunity to change a mindset, to be an example for all communities, by coming together and sharing responsibilities, sharing resources. Sometimes it feels like our own government is segregating the populations, and that just hurts us all. If we don’t come together, well, we end up getting a dirt street with mud. It’s still a street, and it’s my street, but it could be so much better. So much safer. For all of us. I could be wrong, but the timing is now.

There is a lot of turmoil and self serving attitudes behind decisions some feel are right for their office. But the time has come to look beyond our own noses and into our neighbor’s eyes.

Oh, I forgot my positive ending. OK, here goes. There are great people in each town and area; we don’t always see things the same way but we can all work together for adult solutions that make sense. I see a community. I know it’s here. Let’s join hands with our neighbors and do something grand. Something generation altering. Let’s be together. One.


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