The Star - News, views and advertising of the Grand Coulee Dam Area

You have heard of New Years Resolutions. Well, I have never believed in making these statements when I know in my mind I am going to break them. So I am going to look into the future.

Yes, I am putting on my red wizard’s hat and holding the envelope up to my head and looking into the 2014 tunnels of a new year. Oh, here come the first images from 2014.

I see a local fisherman, on a rickety old boat. Fog has packed in the lake and it is bitter cold. Wait a second, I see something else, too. But it’s too foggy to make out. The fisherman’s got a bite. He is reeling in feverishly, it’s something big. The old fisherman is really having a hard time getting whatever it is in the boat. It’s breaking the water. Oh my, it’s a sturgeon and — wait a minute — it has something in its mouth. Its, its a safe. Oh my, the sturgeon has a safe in its mouth. Wait, it has something printed on the side of it. It says Coulee Business’s Stolen Safes.

Hmm, all the stolen safes in the area are either being robbed by a Big Fish or they are being dumped in the water. I wonder if there is an HVAC System, a propane tank and other stolen stuff down there. 

OK, that was a weird prediction. Lets look into the next envelope.

I see sunshine. I see a beautiful neighborhood. Wait, I see people moving out. What? They are moving medical equipment into big trucks. Oh, these are doctors and nurses and hospital staff. They are wearing tee shirts saying, “We don’t bluff.” They are leaving the area. Oh wait, there are people moving in, too. In suits and driving expensive cars and smiling with fat rolls of money in their hands. They have name tags that say “Administration.” Hmm, wonder what that all means.

OK, next envelope. I see the biggest gift being given this next year is a large set of Craftsman tools. I see happy people. But wait, there is a disclaimer in the bottom of the tool box. It says, “Warning, only use these tools on your own personal property, failure to do so will result in fines and prosecution. Failure to take these warnings seriously will cause strife and discontent. Work at your own risk.”

I am picking up the next envelope and I immediately see Colorama 2014. It is the biggest yet. The rodeo is winning their third straight award. People have packed the streets and are having a grand time. The music in the park is the best ever. The vendors are new and diverse and there are lots of them. Toys, trinkets, clothing, and food. The parade is loaded with floats, bands, horses and community members. Smiles abound on kids faces. The reason behind all this fun and enjoyment? Two reasons: The local governments gave the local Chamber the hotel/motel tax they requested and the lack of a hound dog in the park this year.

Oh my, now I see the new school. It’s complete and the kids and staff are happy. There are more kids coming than ever before. Wait, there are too many kids now. They can’t fit them all in. There are so many kids that we must now build an expansion to fit them all in classrooms. We are hiring new teachers too. What’s this? I see championship banners hanging in the gym, too. We are excelling in all categories of education. In a statement being given outside the school to members of the press and dignitaries, the speaker says, “If we give the students a clean, safe environment and encourage them to take care of themselves and their surroundings, they start blooming into something we have not seen around here in a long time. They take responsibility for the halls and their hearts. They start taking pride in work and grades and teams. In return we all become winners.”

Happy New Year! May you all be blessed and all your wishes come true.