The Star - News, views and advertising of the Grand Coulee Dam Area

Sometimes I can go a whole day without having any personable contact with anyone. Just ask my wife, she will confirm this. But on other days I can have contact with hundreds of people, missing out on an opportunity to influence, lift up or otherwise socialize with these citizens. On the other hand, I may even push them in negative directions. How? Well, by blowing them off, by not listening or just thinking my time is more important than theirs.

I know I have done the latter probably more than the positive. I do know that I have made good influences on some, but I am almost certain I have missed the mark a lot. I can think of many times, standing in line at the local market, I could have made small talk or showed more interest to the others around me. Instead, I had in my mind that I needed to get in and get out and get home or wherever I thought was more important. That is just one example, but there are many others.

It was recently brought to my attention that sometimes we can be cold and callous to our own needs when our fellow man or woman is barely holding it all together. Have you ever started a normal conversation with someone to find out that this person has a major crisis going on right now in his or her life? Without going into details, this recently happened to me. I was going on and on about my problems with this person, when all of a sudden the conversation turned to them and they floored me with what was going on with them. It rocked me a bit, then I was embarrassed that I unloaded on this person when they were obviously hurting too. In this case, we decided to help each other if we could. Our situations would never even have been known to each other if one of us had not started the conversation.

My wife and I were youth leaders for years. We saw many kids come and go and we saw some lives change. More importantly, some of those kids touched us a bit, changing the way we see today’s youth. Today, kids are dealing with adult situations that really were no choice of their own.

One such girl, new to the area, showed up with her sisters one day to youth group. At first you could not tell anything was wrong with this vibrant young lady, but soon it was known that she was dealing with a major medical condition. Her attitude was a positive one, and she clung to her faith and her family as she battled.

Over the years we would see her or hear about her as she struggled with the ups and downs on the health roller coaster. When I got sick, the girl’s father spoke to me one day and we discussed that many of the same treatments I was going through, she was too. Pat spoke to me with extreme concern and his words touched me deeply. I thought about Marrissa’s fight many times over the years but we never got to see each other face to face again. When I heard of her dying over the holidays, I wanted to write about her right away but could not bring myself to do it.

It was not her words so long ago that inspired me, but her smile and her willingness to have a life of joy and happiness. Thank you, Marrissa. Also, thank you to Pat, who shared with me the battle he was going through. Although his fight was more than I could even imagine at the time, he was willing to share, to communicate, and that in turn got me through a rough day. I have no words now for you and your family that can return the favor, but know this: Marrissa and Pat touched me and I will never forget that.

So don’t forget to have conversations with those people you encounter on a day-to-day basis. The words you choose can mean more than you will ever know. It could even change a life. I’m just saying.